Perfection Is A Bitch & A Bastard

(I had to keep the masculine/feminine balance in the title…)

And please excuse my strong language, but it’s fucking true.

When you were a new born baby you were perfect and you knew it. Even your snotty nose, chubby thighs, vomit covered chin and dirty bottom couldn’t sway from your universal truth of worthiness and perfection.

You knew that you deserved all the love, affection and attention the world had to offer. You clapped and smiled back as your adoring fans “coochy coochy coo’d” you. Not once did you shy away, lower your eyes or not feel good enough. You were confidence incarnate.

And then somewhere along the line you were taught that you had to behave in certain ways to receive that unconditional love. When the oxytocin in your mothers brain reduced and was replaced by the reality of your (beautiful) piercing cry, you learned that you had to be ‘seen and not heard’. You learned that you had to behave and be quiet to be accepted as a good boy or girl.

All of a sudden your natural perfection was not enough. You had to start game planning and figuring out exactly what you had to do to receive the praise and affection you so longed for from your care givers.

Just being you was no longer enough.

And so the quest for a false and fake sense of perfection began.

Already perfect, you tried to be a different kind of perfect. The perfect your parents taught you to be. The perfect your teachers expected you to be. The perfect society said you should be.

And that quest for perfection created something called The Inner Bitch/The Inner Bastard - that inner voice that constantly says:

“You need to be better”
”You’re not good enough”
”If only you could be this"
”If only you could do that”
”Say it like this”
”Do it like that”
”Be like this then they’ll love you”
”Act like that then they’ll accept you”
”Just be a little more like him”
”Just try to look a little more like her”

And this became the voice you listened to and believed.

And it is the voice that is the boss of the way you sing and the you feel when you sing.

And it is the energy that makes you feel crap when you step off stage.

And it is time to turn the dial down on that voice my darling.

And it is time to listen to that faint inner voice of truth that is always calling; the voice of your true inner perfection, not the fake perfection you’ve been taught to be.

And it has always been calling.

And it will never stop.

And you can listen.

Or not.

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So much love
Gary x

Gary Albert HughesComment